The Psychology Between Father-Daughter Relationships
For decades, black families have been torn apart both physically and mentally whether through social injustices, drug abuse, government-aided stipulations, etc. Much of these cases have impacted many internal relationships in black families, specifically, one that is relatable to my experiences are the father-daughter relationships.
Being raised in a single parent household had it’s ups and downs but it also exemplified strength and courage that a mother/grandmother had to withhold for her daughter/daughters. As a child I often asked myself why my father was not willing to be present and help me be prepared for what life will be when I got older. This along with numerous questions continued to fill up my mind on a daily basis.
The relationship between a father and daughter impacts various things such as academic and/or athletic achievements, self-love, career success, financial well-being, and romantic relationships. I’ve battled through these things over the course of my childhood leading up to my young adult years. With the help of talking with my mother and therapy, I was at least able to move swiftly in focusing on carving out a successful career path for myself as well as being financially knowledgeable.
Since then, I have transitioned my resentment towards my father into a sense of acceptance for the way that he is. I feel as though most of us who have had issues within our families are often unwilling to forgive and move forward. Holding that extra baggage can affect not only yourself but your relationships with friends and romantic partners. As a woman, my only concern in life is to create my own happiness and peace within myself. I can no longer ask why my father was not there and decided to change my thinking to the fact that he simply just missed out on how beautiful and successful I’ve become. That way of thinking will off-load so much weight off your shoulders.
The psychological effects are a consistent battle that some women have a hard time of overcoming but I can reassure you that there is hope and peace at the end of it all. Talking with a therapist will help you uncover behaviors that you didn’t know existed based off of your relationship with your father. Make it a priority to nourish your peace of mind at all times so it does not trickle down to your spouses and/or future kids.
On the flip-side of this matter, I’ve also learned to acknowledge my father’s upbringing and how it may have played a factor in how he maneuvers through life. Although I have learned to forgive my father’s ways, it does not mean that I have to feel remorseful. As a woman you have to learn to put aside your opinions on how things should’ve been handled in the past and move forward with the intent that you will do everything necessary to be the best version of yourself.
If 2020 didn’t teach us enough, it taught us to look at ourselves and make the changes necessary so that we are constantly protecting our mind, body and soul.
