Volume II: The Strong Black Woman Mantra: How do black women really feel about this stereotype?
For centuries, black women have been portrayed as having a gift over overcoming all obstacles both mentally and physically that results in the label of being “strong & resilient.” Consistent teachings of this have often plagued our society in believing that black women can handle any and everything that comes in their direction with style and grace. Black women are often expected to have unyielding strength, play multiple roles, and be nurturers. With all the chaos going on around us, the question that is rarely asked to us is how do we really feel about this stereotype?
In my honest opinion, I feel as though us black women are so accustomed to holding the “Strong Black Woman” title that it doesn’t click that maybe we don’t have to figure everything out on our own. In a sense, this mantra is causing damage to our mental health in most cases. We have been so conditioned to believe that we have to solve every aspect of our life and persevere through things on our own that we consider “help” as a sign of weakness. On the other end, society often pressures us to be “strong” at all times. People often don’t understand the common mental disorders that black women face whether it is through anxiety, depression, panic, or obsessive compulsive disorders. The pressures of having a successful career, building a great relationship, having a family, etc. are common things that black women think about daily.
Studies show that more than 80% of black mothers are the primary or major financial providers for their families and more than 30% of black families in the US are headed by black women. I believe this narrative is slowly changing as we continue to embrace each other but it shows societies consistent views of the black woman. I’ve asked a few black women about their honest views on this stereotype. Take a look below:
Interviewee #1
I feel as though I’ve been so brainwashed with this idea of being strong that it never occurred to me that maybe this was causing myself more harm than good. I can remember graduating from college and pressuring myself to get that high profile job and having a house and car by a certain age when I should have just been enjoying the moment and letting God do his thing. Regardless I knew I was going to be okay. The strong black woman stereotype needs to be retired and thrown away. We have so much going on that it’s important that we have put ourselves first whether it’s through self care days, trying new things, going to therapy, etc. It’s time to put our mental health as priority.
Interviewee #2
I think the strong black woman title is like this mask that we pass down generation after generation and for what? At this day and age I’ve learned not to worry about what society thinks regarding my life. I’m going to live based on my own rules. I don’t need to portray being this “strong black woman” when I know what power I hold internally but I also know how to maintain healthy boundaries. I think black women should be a little more selfish in putting that energy into themselves to make sure they are at the happiest peak of their life emotionally and physically. When we shine from within everything else will follow.
Interviewee #3
After seeing my mother sacrifice everything to raise us it changes my views on a lot of stuff. Though I praise and worship the things she has done to make sure we had a better life, it was clear indication for me that I don’t want to be in that position. I want to be free to make choices that will feed me. I want to have the courage to do what makes me happy and not put people’s views or feelings in front of mine. Life is already crazy and being a black woman in America is 10x as hard. I’ve dissolved my mindset of being this woman that can handle anything thrown at her. I’ve transitioned my way of thinking to only allow stuff that brings peace and happiness into my life. That’s the easiest way to veer from the pressures of being :strong and resilient. It’s about being at peace and moving fluidly.
These responses have been enlightening and I hope it brings a different perspective to my readers. If these past 2 years didn’t teach you anything, it taught you how to enjoy the now and focus on what brings you happiness. Keep growing and shining!
